Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Republicans are Pro-Rape


Hello mammals,

It has been many days since my last transmission. We can blame my enemy, the pig, who infected me with swine flu, and the standardized American education system which insists on examining its students with pesky midterms and papers worth 40% of their grade.

Having come through these trials and tribulations less-than-unscathed, I stand before you now, a shaggy, four-footed Llama-Job, ready to rage once more.

The point of this post is that Republicans are Evil.

Not all of them of course, just the ones who run for office. Many of the others simply suffer from ignorance, or to put it more accurately, low IQ's. Lesser-known fact: Republicans often have very large balls with teeny-tiny-penises, and boy have they been flaunting those enlarged gonads today! But this is not the time to discuss the results of an election that most people didn't know took place. This is the time to publicize something that is, in fact, no laughing matter at all.

So in case you haven't heard, here's the story: In 2005 a woman who worked for Halliburton/KBR, Jamie Leigh Jones, was brutally gang-raped by her co-workers in Iraq. After taking turn after turn with her, the men locked her in a shipping crate without food or water to prevent her from reporting them. She was unable to press criminal charges because the attack happened overseas and outside U.S. jurisdiction. She couldn't even sue because her employment contract specified that sexual harassment cases would only be handled on an arbitration basis. So, no one paid for Jamie's rape, but the American taxpayer did pay the men who raped her.

A few weeks ago, Sen. Al Franken proposed an amendment to a bill that would prevent our government from entering into contracts with companies that employ these types of "sexual-assault" clauses. The amendment passed, but 30 Senators voted against it. You guessed it - all of them were Republicans. For intelligent journalism regarding this event, I suggest you turn to the love of this Llama's life, the delectable Jon Stewart.

Here's the deal people: According to the National Organization for Women , in the year that Jamie was raped, 1,181 women were murdered by an intimate partner. That is one-third of all the women murdered in the U.S. More than 600 women a day were raped in 2006.

I want to mention again the fact that Sarah Palin passed legislation requiring rape victims to pay for their own rape kits, ignoring the fact that impoverished women are often the ones most vulnerable to abuse. Republicans have a history of disregarding human rights in general and women's rights in particular. Why? Because we let them. We make excuses for why we can't fight or conveniently forget why we should.

Below is a list of the 30 Senators who voted against Franken's amendment. I challenge all of you, male or female, to call these excreta (especially if they represent your state) and voice your disapproval. Numbers to their local or Washington offices can be found with a simple Google search, so there's no excuse not to call. Then, be ready to campaign against them and kick their misogynistic asses out of office. Please be aware that BOTH of Georgia's senators are on this list, as is the man who would have been President, John McCain. Ready, my minions? Disperse!!

The Rape List
Alexander (R-TN)
Barrasso (R-WY)
Bond (R-MO)
Brownback (R-KS)
Bunning (R-KY)
Burr (R-NC)
Chambliss (R-GA)
Coburn (R-OK)
Cochran (R-MS)
Corker (R-TN)
Cornyn (R-TX)
Crapo (R-ID)
DeMint (R-SC)
Ensign (R-NV)
Enzi (R-WY)
Graham (R-SC)
Gregg (R-NH)
Inhofe (R-OK)
Isakson (R-GA)
Johanns (R-NE)
Kyl (R-AZ)
McCain (R-AZ) That's right! John McCain!!
McConnell (R-KY)
Risch (R-ID)
Roberts (R-KS)
Sessions (R-AL)
Shelby (R-AL)
Thune (R-SD)
Vitter (R-LA)
Wicker (R-MS)

Saturday, October 17, 2009

There's a Rep for That!



While scouring the internet for ways to promote a dangerous liberal agenda, the llama came across this blogger's video, featured by the Huffington Post.

Monday, October 12, 2009

We're number 37!!

Behold! The Angry Llama!!

Bienvenido, my friends and enemies, to the home of the Angry Llama! This blog was birthed from the mating of incompetence and cortisole, gestated in the aftermath of worst 8 years of our nation's history, and stands, wobbly-kneed, in the light of our best President and his spineless party members. It stammers towards you now with high hopes; here will be posted the vicious, but oh so intelligent rants, of the Angry Llama. Politics, health care, love, loyalty, life, and death - the Llama will tackle these issues with vigor and subjectivity. She will state the facts and stand her ground; and, if that doesn't work, she'll resort to childishly making fun of those who oppose her.

And now, to capture perfectly the tone of my intent, I leave you with a classic song from the highly philosophical band, "Get Set Go."